Remember how excited I was for February? Well, it did not pan out exactly how I thought it would. All I want now is for it to be March. I know that it sounds like I am just wishing time away, but this time I mean it! By the end of March, I will FINALLY know ALL my college decisions. Even though I know in my heart that almost all my decisions will be rejections, the unknown is honestly more painful than the rejection letters. I received one rejection letter in November, and it was such a relief. I was not upset. It felt so wonderful to finally know the result of my application and to be able to finally stop thinking about it. I was physically shaking each day the week before the decision came out, and I was so glad when it was all over. I finally was able to move on.
The end of March will bring fifteen separate decisions, which seems surreal since I have not heard any news regarding college decisions for months. Even if all but one are rejections, I will finally be able to relax. The stress of not knowing has been getting worse and worse, making it so hard to focus on anything else. I am trying to distract myself with school and activities and projects that need to get done, but I find myself constantly checking college portals for no reason, secretly hoping I will be able to glean something out of the mundane information contained such as my name and the college within the university that I applied to.
Thirteen years of schooling has led to this moment. March, typically the most boring month of the year, will actually be the most interesting/exciting/terrifying month of possibly my entire life up until this point. I know I sound dramatic and that one day I will look back at all of this and laugh, but this is how it feels right now. Hopefully I will be able to buy myself a college sweatshirt soon.
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